Done

DONE (written on 1-Sept-2014)

Its been this way for a while now and I'm not so sure if I've let it go completely. I still love him, and i know because when i think of another guy, it disgusted me. Making me feel like the only to forget is to remember another, it's going to work out but the only way out is to find another "in".
Being a senior doesn't make me feel like a senior, it's more like a junior but with more homework and stuff to stress on. Honestly, they didn't warn me all of this in the movies, i know it's cliche to think that at the age of 16, you will finally be treated more like an adult and a free pass to do legal things as if 18 years of age. I'm still to dumb for anything but a piece of cake. I want to live life to the fullest and reach beyond my limits, that only means the biggest adversary I've got to beat is only myself.
I guess the only thing thats keeping me up right and moving ahead is him, because lately he exists when i thought he wouldn't anymore and I'm not exactly sure if I'm sad but I've got this mixed up feeling of anger, joy, depression, aneroxia and sometimes a bit of suicide or is it homocide? Never sure but i really need to get tits intact.
It's not like a harmatia or anything fatal, its just a metaphor like Augustus Waters. Act like your taking so you don't have to be anyone's toy. I have my own mind and I'm quite happy that it still able to function besides the endless brainwash my imagination goes through.